my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the day after is always just damage control
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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