Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need to sanitize my soul.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
