But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize