I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
