I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
