Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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