Already got asked if we're dating
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
