do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
