This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
either way he was missing a nipple.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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