Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
