She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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