i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
