she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I look better un-naked...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
