I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My day in three words: secret purse cake
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Please don't give away my fajitas
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
