I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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