Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
