So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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