When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
