My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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