Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
