shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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