bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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