it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
