No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
