He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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