VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We are all done wearing pants today
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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