is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
