I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
