i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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