I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
