I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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