You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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