i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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