Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
