For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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