you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
