Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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