i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
