i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
