what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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