I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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