so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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