when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
