I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
