we're chasing vodka with high fives
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
