I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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