Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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