More tranny stories later!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you didnt know i had herpes?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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