I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
A bitchslap is in order.
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