Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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