Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
