we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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