have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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