do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
