New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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