why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
