At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
