hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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