he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
