I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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