She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
