garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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