I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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