we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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